Back of the Church
by Mags0607
Summary: You will wait forever in the wings, wait for the day that you can honor the promise made so long ago. You will wait until you can save her, and you know that she is the only girl that will ever be able to save you right back. [oneshot]


I heard the song Back of the Church by Michelle Featherstone, and I just couldn't get this out of my head. I hope you like it, reviews always make me happy.

This is also sort of inspired by Brookefan329's Shattered Illusions, which is an amazing fic, and if you haven't read it you should. Thanks sarah for letting me tie this in with your amazing fic.

This is to my wonderful Cath, whom I love to pieces, my Manda who is a saint for putting up with all the crazyness, and to Jess who I made cry...lol. I love you all, and I hope everyone else enjoys.

**Back of the Church**

_I will wait somewhere in the wings,  
watch you take your bow  
In the front row is someone else;  
they're clapping for you now _

You slip into the church quietly, quickly, taking a seat in the very last pew. Late by design, you waged a war within yourself for days before even driving the three towns over to watch the ceremony.

You watch as she flutters down the isle, beaming at her guests, taking their hearts with her as she continues to the front. You know the feeling, she stole yours years ago, and you've never found a way to get it back. You suppose that's why you're here. To make sure she's happy, to make sure she's loved; that's all you ever wanted for her, even if you couldn't be the one to give it to her.

It seemed all you were ever good at was breaking her heart.

You remember the day it all fell apart with vivid clarity. She claimed your hand in a dance, clung to you for dear life, and kissed you with all the passion in the world. If only you had known then that the kiss meant good-bye, you would have savored it more, made it last longer, and done everything in your power to keep her in your arms forever.

But forever was not in the cards; the very same day she left town, and you only found out through the tearful eyes of your best friend.

_I will wait on __the starting line__,   
watch you win this game _

You never really moved on from that.

She had wanted you to let her in all the way, give her your heart, but you couldn't do it; couldn't show her that she was your world. Now you sit, watching her smile, her face filled with love and adoration, and its not directed at you.

Instead someone taller, darker, more worldly stands in the place you covet, and you wonder if that is the kind of man she was destined to be with. You wonder if you were merely a distraction, someone she had fun with before she met the one. You dismiss the thought as quickly as it came, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that she loved you with everything she had, and you were the one to let it slip away.

_  
I won't move when someone else is cheering on your name  
I wish there was some way to tell you;  
the words just get in the way _

You hear her repeat the sacred words, and your heart breaks a little more with each breath she takes. Her voice cracks, and this time you know its not out of pain, but out of joy. Too bad your heart is going to split in a million peaces by the time she takes someone else's name.

Unable to look at the scene before you any longer, but not willing to walk away quite yet, you observe the scene around you.

The décor and the colors, they are so uniquely her. The way the bold flowers and soft roses mix together in perfect harmony, just seem to personify the woman at the alter. She was the perfect mix of sugar and spice, such a captivating contradiction, that no one has been able to compare to her in your mind. Not even after six years of missing her touch, craving her taste. You know no one else in the world will be able to hold a candle to the woman you lost.

Your eyes once again move to the front of the church, so far from where you sit, and you see the picture you are so vividly missing from. Right beside her is your best friend, proudly smiling, reveling in the happiness that your true love has found. Next down the line is the woman that you once thought occupied your heart, the one that you later realized never could. She too is smiling, having found a way to fix the problems that she caused, happy to be back in her life.

On the other side, you see your brother and other best friend, both smiling as well, included on the special day. Your group was more like family than friends, and it seems that they have all found ways to make it right.

They all managed to reach out to her in a way that you could never gather the courage to do.

_You should know that I will always love you,  
forever and a day _

You curse yourself quietly then; for being a coward, for never finding her and telling her how you felt. Part of you was scared that she would walk away; leave you even more broken-hearted than before, but the other part knew that you could never truly fix the damage you did to her heart. At least not then.

Secretly you had hoped time would find a way to intertwine her back in your life, but instead it had other plans.

She managed to move on with the man up front. The man who would become her husband in a matter of a few minutes. She was in love with a man who you hoped would never break her heart the way you did.

_I will wait in the back of the church,  
and watch you say I do  
I won't cry when someone else is standing next to you _

You hear the preacher say "speak now or forever your peace" and a thousand voices inside you beg you to speak up. They beg you to have the courage to tell her how you feel, to tell her that it never really went away. That you are still completely in love with her even after all this time. You want to scream from the rooftops that she's making a mistake, that she should give you another chance. But you don't utter a word.

Instead you remain quiet, having enough respect to let her enjoy her day, to let her have that one moment of perfection.

You know that you will always love her, but she deserves for you to let her go. Even if you're not sure that you will have the strength to erase her from your heart. You don't even know if you would want to.

The words are almost to much to bear as you hear the official word that she is another man's wife. Foolishly, even then you had held onto the hope that she would once again be yours.

_I wish there was some way to tell you,  
but words just get in the way  
You should know that I will always love you  
forever and a day _

You watch as she begins to head down the isle, new husband on her arm, and you can't help but blink back a few tears. God, she's only grown more beautiful with time, and it physically hurts to know you haven't been there to see her get everything she wanted out of life.

She seems so happy now, practically gliding towards the door, and for a moment it makes you smile. Only for a moment though, because a lifetime of happiness for her means a lifetime of sorrow for you.

You wonder why your even here in that moment, why you couldn't have let Haley or Nathan quietly tell you that you had lost her, but you know you had to see it for yourself.

That want was what inspired you to crash her wedding, to try and look out for her in ways you never could when she was yours. She had begged you one day to be the one the one to rescue her, and in some strange way, those words were what prompted you to come.

You can see though from the look of the man standing next to her, that she found someone more than adequate to take your place. And it hurts to see him smile at her the way you wish you still could.

_I wish there was some way to tell you  
the words I wanted to say   
You should know that I will always love you; _

As she nears the exit and you, you wish there was a way to shield yourself better from her view. Emotions wage war inside you, and you don't know what you want more, for her to see you or to never know that you were there.

You don't get to decide though, as you feel the hazel eyes lock on you before you raise your head to meet them. You can feel her just as strongly as you always could, and you can't help but wonder that out of the 500 guests present, that maybe she could feel you too.

Your eyes lock with hers, and ten thousand angels could not pull you away. For a second you see it, that old stare that was reserved only for you, and your heart flips with unwarranted hope.

She looks at you one last time, her eyes telling everything you wish she could say, and then she's gone.

You know that you aren't going to stick around for the reception, you are going to exit as quietly as you came, but you feel some satisfaction.

On the day that she was supposed to only have eyes for her husband, she caught your gaze and in one moment gave you hope.

You saw in her eyes, that maybe it hadn't gone away for her either, and even though that other man had her heart, there was still a little piece of it that she left with you.

As you walk out the church, and climb in your car, you see the bridal party climbing into the limo and somehow you know its not the end.

You don't know how or why, but you know that one day she is going to need you, one day she may let you back in. You know it won't be easy, and that you won't be happy until she does, but you know it will happen nonetheless.

_yeah I will always love you  
Yeah I will always love you _

You will wait forever in the wings, wait for the day that you can honor the promise made so long ago. You will wait until you can save her, and you know that she is the only girl that will ever be able to save you right back.

As you watch the limo pull away, you can't help but know deep down that everything that Brooke Davis once was to you, that one day she will be again. And even though your heart is breaking now, you know that you will wait forever if that's how long it takes, and you know that you will love her just as long.

_  
forever, forever, forever, forever, and a day. _

* * *


End file.
